Notes From The Top - The Bottom - Or Somewhere In Between

Happy New Year One And All

“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know that I derive a lot of comfort from uplifting quotes and affirmatiions. I consider them to be “the compass that keeps me headed in the right direction” as I travel along the peaks and valleys of my life.

There was a time when I had no income at all for almost 3 years while I was going through Social Security and Medi-Cal’s appeal process. Sometimes I think they just automatically reject everyone's first application even though you have documented proof from your doctor going back more than 10 years. If it wasn't for a legal firm called "Health Advocates", I’d probably still be waiting. I was beginning to think that unless you had a letter from your Coroner, they figured you just weren’t sick enough.

During that period of time I had no medication and relied heavily on my quotes, affirmations, audio tapes, uplifting websites and TV shows on PBS like Dr. Wayne Dyer to keep me going. I’m sure you can imagine how devistating this was to our financial situation and how high our stress-level was. However, I do take a great deal of comfort in knowing that, when all was said and done, the Appeals Judge not only decided what I had been saying all along was not only true, but actually worse according to his doctors. We settled the case in December of 2002 but he made them pay me retroactively all the way back to September of 1999.  :^)

The quote at the beginning of this post describes how we were able to not only find the perfect new home for us, at a price we couldn’t have imagined, but because we moved there we benefited in many other ways as well.

If you recall, in my last post I had created a spreadsheet and was analyzing our situation. I have to tell you... things looked pretty bleak. Our rent had increased to an amount so high that there was no way we could afford it. We had to move and there was just no way of getting around it.

How were we going to do that? We had no money for the first month’s rent and the deposits too. Not only that, some places want first and last month’s rent plus deposits. What about boxes, shipping tape and other expenses? Where were we going to get the money for that? To make matters even worse, we had an extremely bad credit rating, were evicted from our last apartment 4 years ago and had a bankruptsy in our history too. Neither one of us was working so our only income was my S.S.D.I. benefits.

Even if we had the money, we lived in an upstairs apartment and neither one of us was able to lift heavy boxes or furniture, let alone cary them down stairs by ourselves. There was no one available to help us either, and we sure couldn’t afford to pay a moving company to do it. Not only that, the side effects of all the medication I was taking, along with the withdrawal symptoms of the medication I had stopped taking, made just getting up out of a chair difficult. I could’t imagine how we were going to do it, but we had to do it within 30 days. Talk about pressure.

Right about then I remembered the old Nike commercials that used to say... “Just Do It!” Don't think about it. Don't worry about it! Just get on with it! So that’s what we did.

It didn't take us long to figure out that rents were extremely high everywhere in Orange County and there wasn’t much available at all at any price. In the beginning I only looked in Anaheim. Then I tried anywhere in Orange County and still couldn’t find anything. Next I decided to try Affordable Housing and Section-8 housing in Orange County. I went on-line to the appropriate websites to get information and phone numbers to call. That was a total waste of time. Most had waiting lists of 3-5 years, we needed an apartment now. Reluctantly, I tried San Diego County, then the Inland Empire... nothing! We drove around looking for apartments. We looked through all the newspapers. We asked everyone we could think of if they knew of an apartment we could rent but after 30 days came and went we still were no closer to finding one. Now... we had to pay the rent again at the new higher rate, $105.00 more than we were paying. But wait... it gets even worse. We couldn't renew the lease so we only rented it for 2 1/2 more month at the higher month-to-month rate which was even more expensive. $105.00 plus $55.00 more, to be exact. Right about then the “F.U.D. Factor” (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) kicked into high gear. Even higher than usual.

We were getting desperate so I was forced to resort to something I hate doing... "Cold-Calling". I literally had to force myself to make every single call. 15 more days went by and we still had nothing to show for all our efforts. I had even tried some of those companies that you pay to find a place for you, but that did’t produce any results either. Then our luck changed. we went to a website where you search for rentals for Free, and not only did we find the perfect apartment that was bigger, better and newer than our old one, for way less money, but after we signed the lease, they sent us $100.00! The manager and her staff were extremely helpful and friendly too. They went out of their way to help us. It just doesn't get any better than that. Our luck had finally changed and we were starting to feel pretty optimistic about things.

One major hurdle was out of the way, but where were we going to get the money to move and how were we going to do it? I wasn’t going to worry about it though, I was feeling pretty good about our situation right about then. I knew that help would come, although I had no idea where it would come from. Like the quote at the beginning of this post says... once you begin, all sorts of help will spring up from places and events you never even thought of. It already had done that and I was looking forward to even more.

We decided to address the box situation first because it was going to take us quite a bit of time to get things packed. One day as we walked out to our Dodge Caravan SE, we saw some really good empty boxes by the trash which we instantly took and brought home. You see everyone's rent was going up and as it did, most moved out and others with more money moved in and took their apartments. These new tenants provided even more free boxes for us. We drove by all the large grocery and discount stores and got even more free boxes. We ended up getting all the boxes we would need... for free! “Life is good!”

It did’t cost much for the shipping tape as we got it at Wal*Mart. So now we were able to start packing. A good thing too, because we ended up with over 100 boxes and not much time to pack them. My wonderful wife Luana, God Bless her, did most of the packing herself. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. We celebrated our 24th Wedding Anniversary on December 28th. Next year will be our “Silver Anniversary”, a quarter of a century of wedded bliss. She stuck with me through thin an thinner, for bad or worse.  ;^)

We decided we would have to hire a moving company so I googled until I found a few good prospects. I called them all and then chose the best, most honest one, Nationwide. I set a moving date with them, June 15th, and now came the hard part... getting the $1,700.00 it was going to cost us, plus enough to cover our other expenses including the rent increases.

We don’t have many friends due to the nature of my disabilities and our less than desireable financial situation. In fact, I can count them on one hand... and have fingers left over. They had just gone through a divorce, both were moving to different places with relocation expenses of their own. Most of my family lives in Connecticut and they don't have any money to spare. One of my Brothers lives in Lake Elsinore but he is in the process of trying to sell his house and at the same time is trying to find another to buy in Las Vegas because it’s just getting too expensive to live here anymore. I wouldn’t expect them to be able to help us and couldn’t bring myself to ask for a loan knowing they were having hard times too. But... as it got closer to June 15th, I decided that even if I already knew they couldn't help us, although I knew they would want to, I felt I had to at least give it a try. To my complete amazement, our two friends and my Brother and his Wife were each able to loan us enough money to cover just about everything. We were still $300.00 short of what we needed to move in. We had paid the first month’s rent and the security deposit but didn't have anough to cover the pet deposit too. We didn't know what to do, but once again the unexpected happened, our new Manager told us she would accept $25.00 per month payments until it was paid. Like I said, they are really nice people.

Our old apartment was a small one bedroom upstairs unit with a small bathroom in a complex that was over 15 years old. We had an air conditioner next to the front door that cooled the living room but didn’t do much for the other rooms. It had one small closet in the bedroom and an even smaller one for hats and coats in the living room. You had to provide your own refrigerator. It was in an area with very busy traffic on the city streets and was also near a freeway which produced even more noise and exhaust fumes. It was pretty noisy day and night, It was going to cost us $1,175.00 per month which includes $20.00 per month doggie rent, plus we had to pay for water, utilities such as trash pickup, rental insurance was mandatory and the nine doctors I was seeing were each at least a half hour ride from our apartment.

Our new apartment is the newest one in town. Only 5 years old. It is a large two bedroom with two large bathrooms, a downstairs unit with a covered patio so we no longer will have to walk the dogs in the rain. All the doors are large enough for wheelchair access. It has central air conditioning and heating with adjustable vents in every room and large closets including a large walk-in closet. It has washer and dryer hookups right in the apartment and they even provide a refrigerator too, so we were able to give ours to the lady in the apartment next to us because hers broke down the night before we moved out. It is cable ready and has two phone lines, one for the phone and one for DSL high speed Internet access. They have a fenced in swimming pool, a clubhouse that has computers you can use and plenty of parking available. It costs us only $495.00 per month rent, we don't pay for water, we don't pay for trash, there is no doggie rent and rental insurance is not required.

It is on a hill over looking the city, the Colorado River, historical Route-66, and the Mojave Valley with beautiful mountains all around. We can look across the Colorado River into Arizona from in front of our apartment. We’ve got deep blue skys, no traffic, no noise, clean air and we both couldn't be happier. I only have to see one doctor instead of nine and he is a very short seven minute walk from our apartment and that is with a sore back, sore knees and feet, using a cane. I can literally see our apartment from in front of his office. The hospital is across the street, Social Services is right there too as is the library and Senior Center. A Rite Aid store, the pharmacy I used in Anaheim is one mile from our apartment and in the same parking lot there is a super market, a Motor Vehicle Department Office that is never crowded, the Social Security Office and more. We love it! We are close to the Fort Mojave Tribes Reservation and can be at the Avi Resort and Casino in under eithteen minutes. Another few minutes and we are at the casinos in Laughlin Nevada.

Bottom line... it took a few miracles, some financial help from family and friends, a lot of work, and a four hour long, 258.5 ride through the desert in June to get to an apartment we hadn’t even seen yet, located in a city we’ve never been to. But we now can honestly say we are... Alive And Well In Needles, Ca, Usa.

“I’m excited! Today is the first day of the rest
of my life and I know the best is yet to come.”
~ Polar Bear
(Say This Every Morning)

“Thoughts become things... choose the good ones!”
~ T.U.T.'s Adventurers Club

posted by: PolarBear at December 31, 2006 19:27 | link | comments (2) |
bipolar, needles, desert, mojave

On The Road Again

“There cannot be a crisis today;
my schedule is already full.”
~  Henry Kissinger

The road of life has some really beautiful scenery, some nice places to visit and places you never want to leave. It also has some bumpy roads and an occasional detour you hadn’t planned on that takes you into the unknown. It can be a daunting experience, especially if you are driving during stormy weather because you can’t see what lies ahead until you get there. All the unknown factors can cause anxiety and depression to build up and overwhelm you if you let it.

When you are bipolar, going through a period of “Brain-Storms”, the added pressure of an unexpected detour can make coping even more difficult than it already is. You experience a flood of doubts and fears... “what if this”, “what if that” and “how will I ever” that sap your strength and cloud your judgment. That’s when you need to pull over to the side of the road, calm down and pull yourself together. You need to “analyze, adjust and overcome”, then “decide, do and follow through”. Granted, you must proceed with caution but without fear. Ask yourself... “is there really anything to fear?” If so, “what is it”? Chances are, once you take a good look at it, you will see your fears had blown everything way out of proportion and what seemed like mountains suddenly became mere molehills.

My wife, pets and I have just run into yet another unexpected detour. Last Friday we received a notice from the manager of our apartment stating that it was time to renew our lease. We go for the one-year lease because renting month to month costs considerably more and we are barely making ends meet as it is. The amount we get from Social Security Disability Benefits barely covers the amount we have been paying for rent plus utilities, phone, $20.00 per month pet rent (yes, dogs pay rent too) and the other expenses that come with renting an apartment but little else. Also, now that we have to pay for part of our prescriptions that we used to get for free, things have been even tighter. We had been expecting a $20.00 per month rent increase, which is what we received in the past, but were absolutely blown away when they told us it was going to cost $105.00 more per month! We already didn't know how we would be able to come up with the expected $20.00 increase. Paying $105.00 more per month is absolutely impossible.

Suddenly a flood of doubts and fears bombarded us. Where would we find a place with rent we could afford in Orange County California? Would we be able to find a place that would let us move in with two canine companions and a canary? What about our extremely bad credit rating and an eviction due to the two and a half years I had no income while Social Security Disability was jerking me around? How are we going to pay for all the moving expenses when my next check, which comes on April 3rd, will have to be used to pay our last rent payment here at Wateridge Apartments? How are we going to be able to move into our new apartment on May 1st, when the money I will use to pay our first months rent doesn’t come in until May 3rd? Then there is the fact that I am physically unable to move furniture or boxes and we don’t have any friends that can help us. Most of the time I feel like I am going to pass out just getting up off a chair or bending down due to all the medication I am taking and their side effects, withdrawal symptoms and unexpected drops in blood pressure. Add to that the fact that my back has been acting up due to an old motorcycle injury that left me totally disabled for over 3 years. We live on the second floor, so everything will have to be moved down 15 cement stairs. Moving heavy boxes and large items like a refrigerator, sofa, heavy desk and a California King Size Bed will make it even more difficult.

So, here we are, parked on the side of the road, analyzing, adjusting and overcoming. I know from past experience that things will turn out for the best. They always have. Besides, the last time we had to move, four years ago, we were in a much worse situation and everything turned out for the best when all was said and done, although it was a very dark, stormy and bumpy ride. I created a spreadsheet workbook to help me figure things out and have my database of inspirational quotes for every occasion to keep me motivated. It's the compass that keeps me headed in the right direction. I probably did pick the wrong time to stop taking my anti-anxiety medication though, but I really didn't have any choice.

Well, time to get back on the road again and get on with it. Like my Dad used to say... “The best way out of difficulty is through it”.

"Thoughts become things... choose the good ones!"
~ T.U.T.'s Adventurers Club

posted by: PolarBear at March 24, 2006 16:59 | link | comments (9) |
bipolar

Another Chance To Get It Right

-----------========(*)========------------

THIS YEAR IS YOUR’S...

God built and launched this year for you;
Upon the bridge you stand;
It’s your ship, aye, your own ship,
And you are in command.
Just what the twelve months’ trip will do
Rests wholly, solely, friend, with you.

Your logbook kept from day to day
My friend, what will it show?
Have you on your appointed way
Made progress, yes or no?
The log will tell, like guiding star,
The sort of captain that you are.

For weal or woe this year is yours;
Your ship is on life’s sea
Your acts, as captain, must decide
Whichever it shall be;
So now in starting on your trip,
Ask God to help you sail your ship.

~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

-----------========(*)========------------

A new beginning, a fresh start, a chance to start over with a clean slate and hopefully get it right this time. Last year was a roller coaster ride due to the side effects of getting on some new pill or from the side effects of getting off of some other pill. They gave me pills to deal with one problem but the side effects caused a whole new problem, which required yet another pill to deal with that one. There were times when I had to ask myself, which was worse, the illness or the medication. But, it was definitely a learning experience. I learned to do a little research on what I am getting myself into before I start taking any medication. Especially what you have to go through when you stop taking them.

Speaking of side effects... for the last 3 weeks I've been experiencing withdrawal symptoms from a prescription I had to stop taking. I'm on Social Security Disability, Medicare and Medi-Cal. I never had to pay anything because Medi-Cal covered the full price of all my prescriptions. Good thing they did because I was up to 24 pills per day at one point in time. That's 24 pills per day and not 24 prescriptions per day. I'm down to 20 pills per day now. Just one of the prescriptions, Provigil, costs $557.99 per month. The costs of all the pills I take now comes to $1,732.92 per month. I can't even imagine how much my nine doctors plus hospital visits and tests is costing them.

As of January 1, 2006, Medi-Cal no longer covers prescriptions. Medicare assigned Sierra Rx to cover all my prescriptions. I pay no monthly fees, no deductible and only pay $1.00 for generic drugs and $3.00 for non-generic drugs. I only pay $3.00 for the Provigil, which costs them $557.99. The total I pay per month is $17.00 instead of $1,732.92. Trouble is they don't cover all drugs. There is only one prescription I take that they didn't cover and there is no replacement or generic for it, so I had to "Bite The Bullet" and ride out the withdrawal symptoms. Now every day I have a headache, an upset stomach, loud high-pitched whistle in my ears, am extremely weak, and at times when I walk, it feels like walking during an earthquake. Some days I don't know whether I'm going to throw up or pass out. Hopefully, eventually the symptoms will dissipate and things can get back to what I jokingly call normal.

Every dark cloud has a silver lining though, if you have a positive attitude and take the time to think about it. Since I stopped taking that particular medication, I no longer waste half the day sleeping. I am wide-awake all day now, and can actually get stuff done! I started promoting our web sites and affiliate programs again, something I haven't done for almost 2 years. I am also in the process of updating our websites. It's a bit difficult under the current circumstances, but little by little, I've been feeling a bit better every day. I am really looking forward to the day the withdrawal symptoms are completely gone. Until then, I'll get as much done as I can and use my collection of inspirational quotes, and positive web sites, along with listening to my inspirational tapes to keep my head on straight.

Inspiration Peak  -  Positive Quotes
Daily Motivator  -  Daily Word

Would I start taking that prescription again if Sierra Rx decided to pay for it? Not a chance! In fact, once the withdrawal symptoms are completely gone, I'm going to s-l-o-w-e-l-y back off a couple of other prescriptions I am taking and cross them off my list too.

Every year when New Year's Eve comes around, I spend some time thinking about what happened during that year. I go over the high points and the low points, write down what I have learned, and try to come up with a list of things that I can do in the new year to improve our lives. Actually, there are no "bad times" if you learned something from them. Heck, even if you didn't learn anything, the fact that you lived through it gives you a reason to be proud of yourself. Like they say... "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

Over the years I learned to always see the positive side of things, and believe me, there always is a positive side if you keep an open mind and have a positive attitude.

"The eye sees what it brings to seeing."
-- Bysshe Shelley

There is another quote that helps me sort things out.

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
~ George Bernard Shaw

When I first saw this quote I asked myself... "What kind of me do I want to create", and "What kind of me am I creating right now"? After I answered those two questions, I was able to start making my list of New Year's Resolutions. Now, making lists is something I am r-e-a-l-l-y good at. I don't just make a "Things To Do" list; I make a "Must Be Done" list, a "Should Be Done" list and a "Do If At All Possible" list. I end up with a list of things to do that is so long that the only way I can get them all done is by way of reincarnation. This only guarantees that I will fail to accomplish it all, which is depressing, and being bipolar, the one thing I really don't need any more of is more depression.

Depression & Bipolar Support
About Depression  -  Drug Assistance

Now I toyed with the idea of making a list of things to do that was a little more realistic. You know, like... "I will get up every morning", and "I will breathe every day", also "I will go to the toilet at least once a day", anyway, you get the idea. While this almost guarantees accomplishment, it's not much of a challenge, doesn't improve our lives much, no satisfaction, so why even bother?

This year's list is much shorter, only twelve items on it, and I have a whole month to accomplish each one of them, so no pressure. They are all doable and will improve our lives. Under each item I have listed what I need to do or get to accomplish it. I have also listed what the benefit accomplishing it will produce and how I will feel after I have accomplished it, my desired outcome.

I downloaded the Win Organizer and set it up like a P.I.M. and entered my list into it. I also set up sections for my quotes. One for "Favorites", another for "Funny", one for "Inspirational", one for "Spiritual", one for "Religious" and one for "Motivational". I also set up a section with "Internet Links" to my favorite inspiring web sites and another for "Affirmations". The Win Organizer will be the compass that I will use to guide me during the new year. If I start feeling a bit more depressed than usual I will take some time to enjoy a Joke Of The Day and a Cartoon Of The Day, after all, they do say "Laughter is the best medicine".

My goal for February is to make a good sized post here, which I hoped would include something that would help somebody in some way and to update our Home Page, which hopefully will help to increase our income. My goal for March is to make a good sized post to my Choppers blog and to update our Rare Books and Novels web site, which also will hopefully increase our income too.

So, I'm off to a great start this year and am looking forward to a year that is filled with accomplishments, not the least of which is to eliminate as many pills as possible without adversely affecting my health issues. Even my Pharmacist says I am over medicated and some of my prescriptions are duplicated by other prescriptions, so I figure I should be able to eliminate some of them without a problem if I properly research them first. Sure, I'm bound to run into some bumpy roads now and then but I won't let it get me down. I know everything happens for a reason and there is always something positive to be found in every negative situation. Like someone once said, "The really happy man is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour."

I hope that the new year is filled with good things for you.

May God grant you always...
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel
So nothing can harm you.
~ Irish Saying

"Thoughts become things... choose the good ones!"
~ T.U.T.'s Adventurers Club

posted by: PolarBear at February 25, 2006 14:26 | link | comments (6) |

You Can't Judge A Book By It's Cover

 

“Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy.”
-- E. H. Chapin

If you are dealing with some of the health issues I’m dealing with, like Bipolar Disorder, or O.C.D., A.D.H.D. and/or other emotional disorders, you may be able to identify with this post. I also have Sleep Apnea, an Ulcer, Arthritis, Tremors and Hypertension just to name a few, and if you have any of these, the same applies.

Before I go on, let me make one thing perfectly clear, by listing my health issues and side effects I am not complaining. These are simply opportunities to overcome certain challenges in my life, learn from them, grow and move on helping others by using what I have learned.  I am learning which issues can't be cured and will need continuing medication. I am also learning which issues that I am willing to drop the medication and live with the health issues thereby eliminating some medication and their side effects.  I use my 6-Step formula for success: “Decide - Do - Follow Through - Analyze - Adjust - Overcome” which has served me well over the years.  Besides, others have it far worse than I, one only has to look at the hurricane victims down South and the fire storm victims here in California.

Now I will get back to the original reason for this post. Despite the fact that I am disabled, there are no outward signs of it. after all, I am not in a wheelchair, unless my arthritis is extremely bad and I have a doctors appointment. My leg isn’t in a cast, my arm isn’t in a sling, I'm not wearing a neck brace nor do I wear an eye patch and my head isn’t bandaged up. I don't even have so much as one of those useless tiny little round Band-Aids that come in the assorted Band-Aid package on my cheek. To look at me you would hardly be able to tell that I am disabled. There is no way for others to know when I am having what I call “Brain-Storms” going on inside my head or what it feels like. For the most part the miserable side effects from the medication I have to take are invisible as well.

Because of this, all people see is a guy that not only doesn’t work, but also doesn’t seem to do much of anything else either. He doesn't even shave every day, in fact, during a bad period I almost look like a homeless person.    When I walk I sometimes shuffle my feet, due to a combination of the side effects of the medication which saps my strength and enthusiasm and keeps me in a state of always having no energy, being sleepy and a little drugged plus the arthritis in my legs and sore feet.

Just about every medication I take has a label on it that says, “May cause drowsiness” and sometimes worse. So, some judgmental people, being the way they are, just can’t understand how I feel. Even those that know I have Bipolar Disorder say things like “Heck, I get worried and depressed sometimes too and so does just about everyone else”, as if Bipolar Disorder is nothing, just being a little sad and a little worried. They don't know that between the health issues and the medication it’s extremely difficult to get myself to do anything, which is why my posts are so few and far apart.   Worse yet, it’s as if I have developed the attitude that I just don't care. I used to get “Manic-Moments” where I felt alive again, human, filled with enthusiasm and euphoria. I lived for those “Manic-Moments,” but unfortunately they seemed to have abandoned me.  One of my medications must be working... lucky me!

I’ve been called “Lazy” and a “Hypochondriac”. When my arthritis kicks in or my knee pops out and I am using a cane, then they call me an “Invalid”. Obviously I am not lazy since I became disabled because I was a workaholic and burned myself out. Also, I have letters of recommendations and awards going from the early 1960’s to 1999, when I became disabled while working as a Technical Support Analyst for Nextel Communications. I clearly am not a hypochondriac because the doctors working for the Social Security Disability Appeals Judge found more things wrong with me than my previous doctor had listed. Someone else said “You just like to take pills” and another said “You take all the pills they give you just because they are free”. At one point I was up to 24 pills a day. Thank God I am down to 18 pills per day and hope to eliminate even more because the side effects are worse than the problems they are supposed to cure. To be completely honest, I do not enjoy taking pills at all. For me it's the lesser of two evils and I have been following doctor's orders. I go to their office, they ask me how I am doing, and they check me then give me a prescription. I have eight doctors and five of them have me on prescriptions. I take 7 pills a day just for blood pressure alone. I asked my main doctor and also the Cardiologist he has handling my heart issues, if I can get off of at least the blood pressure pills that I know are the worst at making me sleepy. They both said "No, not if you want to live and be there for your wife when you both get older".

But you know what... none of this bothers me. First off I know the truth about my situation and they don’t. I was watching Dr. Wayne Dyer on PBS one night and he said, "I live my life independent of the good opinions of other people." I feel the same way. It’s nice to have people approve of me but it’s not required. As long as I know what I am doing is right in my heart and in the eyes of God, I am happy. The one person that has stood by me with kindness and understanding has always been my wife Luana and I thank God for putting and keeping her in my life every day.

Are you getting the same kind of treatment and lack of understanding from others? Don’t let their ignorance get you down. You know the truth about yourself and your health issues and they don’t. Just focus on getting well again and remember...

“Any fool can critize, condem, and complain, and most fools do”
-- Dale Carnegie

 

posted by: PolarBear at October 01, 2005 12:26 | link | comments (13) |

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